How To Develop Your Cross-Cultural Skills
There are many differences in behaviors between different cultures. Yet when people live abroad for a long time they can become multicultural. They can take on certain aspects of their adopted culture.
Of course, some people never change. It is amazing the number of English-speaking people I meet in France, with children at school and working for French companies, who do not take the time to integrate the culture and learn the language even to a basic level.
An English lady I know here still insists on using English pronunciation for major French cities even after living here longer than in her home country and to the point where she is difficult to understand.
Adapting Your Behavior
Integrating into a foreign culture takes time. It is also a process of adapting some of your behaviors to fit in better with the other culture.
As a North American, here are three things I have learned NOT to do here in France:
- Smile too much
- Take the initiative to open friendship too fast
- Direct conversations
I often have to adapt my behavior and communication style to fit in better and for leads better communication.
- French people respond differently to smiling. When I forget to stop my smiling, the reactions from French people have been negative.
- French people also tend to have a very coded process for who can become their friend or not. Friends are a more serious connection here than in North America. You can easily miss the connection if you go at a different speed.
- It is always interesting to note how direct conversations are perceived in different cultures. This is one of the main cultural behavior scales. North Americans have a more direct style of conversation. In many cultures this can be perceived as rudeness… another communication killer.
What happens when you live abroad more years than you have lived at home?
Getting Used To Changes At Home
As a North American who has lived abroad for almost 30 years, it is obvious to see how communication in North America has changed during my time away. For example, one thing that baffles me the most in communicating with North Americans today, is the politically correctness movement and its consequences. I did not live in North American through those changes and remember the straight talking John Wayne movies.
One one side the North American side of my culture has stayed still in time, on the other side it has also morphed a little to adapt to European cultures. The paradox is that I now find myself sometimes having to adapt to the current North American culture.
On a personal note, I grew up in the Bahamas. Just about everyone from my local local high school left the island we grew up on. We all moved to different cultures.
It’s been a long time now. Our island has changed into something different than what we knew.So when we meet up there is a fair bit of reminiscing times gone by.
It is interesting to look at what we all think of as “home”, to compare the cultural heritage we took away with us and how our cultural backgrounds have changed.
Multicultural Home
People with multicultural backgrounds often find themselves wondering where “home” is after a while. Some people feel it is their new adopted culture and some think it is both. Everyone recognizes the changes brought about by living in different cultures.
More On How To Develop Your Cross-Cultural Skills:
- Getting Beyond Visible Cultural Differences
- Getting Acquainted With Your Cultural Baggage
- International Exposure To Develop Cross-Cultural Skills
- How An Open Mindset Increases Confidence
- International Exposure To Develop Cross-Cultural Skills
- Morphing Into A Foreign Culture
- Prejudice – A Cross-Cultural Business Barrier
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
HI Cindy,
I found this piece on empathy and morphing really fascinating. Especially the parts about smiling and direct conversations. In 2004, I was preparing to go to Greece (Santorini) for a friend’s wedding. I did a lot of reading on-line and was well prepared — more so than any of the Americans who were traveling to this wedding — for some of the differences we would find there. I was very, very excited about having the chance to revisit Greece after being there thirty-seven years earlier.
Of course, this was after 9/11 and after the invasion of Iraq, so we Americans were still wondering what kind of risks there might be to traveling abroad. (It turned out, at least for me, that JFK was the darkest, scariest place of all — the rest of the world was far more relaxed and friendly.)
One of the things I read on a website about “what not to do” as an American (to blend in while traveling) was — Don’t smile so much! Or laugh! It seems our American smiles are a dead giveaway — we smile much more frequently, it seems.
This was a great surprise to me.
That trip turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. I traveled alone for part of it, and because we were part of the bride’s “family” we had authentic experiences with the groom’s Greek family and then on our own on the island. The Greek people, and the Romanian waiters we met, were very warm and friendly and seemed to appreciate smiles. The Scandanavians who stayed at our little beach hotel were very low key, unsmiling and separate — read a lot of newspapers!
I absolutely loved being a part of the global picture. It gave me a hunger for more. I regretted not taking a side trip to Italy when I had a chance — was unsure about traveling there alone, but it probably would have gone fine.
Thanks for your insight and advice.
Hi Marci,
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story.
Yes, smiles are usually a giveaway, so are American style tennis shoes.
…I cannot count the number of times a Frenchman has thought I gave him an invitation to my bedroom simply because I smiled when I said hello to him or smiled when I thanked him for something. And despite this I’m sure I made the right choice in not giving up such a basic element of my culture, my identity. This leads into personal barriers etc. Interesting discussions to understand people.